The Washup

This one is going to be difficult but probably has to be written.

Yes, I failed. Difficult to deal with and not very happy with how things panned out.

What can I write about? Training. I think my training was nearly spot on this year. I averaged about 1,500km a month for each month leading up to leaving the country for Banff. I had a quiet patch at the end of April as a result of a bit of illness but it was probably at the right time to stay fresh and excited about cycling. This time it was the right variety of training as well with lots of long climbs on Tour Divide style hills on fully loaded touring rig. I know that on the start line I was physically much better than last time and a much stronger rider.

There certainly were gaps in my training. I did a few long multi-day rides but not as many as I would have liked. Possibly only one or two more. Just one or two weekends devoted to riding. I had the opportunity I know but chose to do other things at the time. Probably things I had to do to keep some balance in my life but I know my body and mind would have been stronger on that start line if I had have had a couple more 4-500km off road weekends.

The bike. The bike was perfect. I had been really worried for months leading up that I was spending a lot of money and trust me, I spent a LOT of money on the bike this time for questionable return. Although I really was only able to cycle for a couple of days and limp along for the third, I am certain that the changes I made were the right decision. Go for a high end carbon wheel set with as ultra-light a set up as possible. Other than just saving a lot weight, it turned me into a more than adequate descender. I had been terrible in 2013, embarrassingly bad. This time I was able to either stay with or descend faster than those around me and the wheels were the only thing I can really think of that has made that difference. That and I have done a lot more descending now and maybe am a bit more confident in doing that.

Also, I didn't go with aero bars this time. Very few people didn't have either aero bars or the very popular Jones Loop Bars. My bars are just old fashioned flat bars with a really good sweep. I have ergon grips which I wrapped additional cork bar tape around for extra padding and to spread the contact point out even further. Certainly worked well for the part of the course I managed to negotiate and I suspect would have been sustainable down the balance of the course. I still felt much better physically than I did after three days in 2013. Lack of aero bars may have been slowed me down  further down the course but I will never know.

Electronics will always be a downer for me unless I join the 21st century and start using them for all of my rides. Just more hassle than I need usually when I just want to be out cycling and enjoying the simplicity of my mates, I mean the simplicity of the bicycle. I had a cache battery in between the eWerk regulator and the GPS. This was a real winner this time keeping things going and definitely a good solution that meant I wasn't worried about blowing up another etrex. The USB ports/cables this time weren't good enough. I know there is a solution and I just need to find the time and energy to sort that and it was silly of me not to prior to going out on this ride. I stored the cache battery in my gas tank which meant I was getting crumbs and sand and all manner of stuff into the USB port. Bound to go wrong really.

1x11 was the right idea, weight savings were worth the effort and money. Definitely on day one I was stopped multiple times by gear jamming mud that would not have been an issue with the Rolhoff and seeing the other riders, this would have been an issue further down the course as well but I am still a believer in the efficiency of the rear derailleur I had.

My body, well it broke. It is hard to say when or why but by lunch time on day three I could progress no further really. I identified pain just underneath the knee cap late on day one. Not something I have ever really had issues with. When I do too much walking my knees ache but there is one simple stretch I do to fix that. Cycling on the other hand seems to help any ache or pain with the more riding that I do. My bad hips are awesome if I do a heap of cycling and it is only when I stop that they start bothering me.

I probably made the mistake on day one of thinking it was normal knee pain and if I kept riding things would all be sweet as everything came together. When things were still sore in the knee on day day two I tried lowering my seat but probably didn't lower it enough quickly enough. I did think it was coming good on the morning of day three and cycled strongly from Eureka through to the top of the pass at Red Meadow Lake. The descent from the top there to Whitefish is a whole load of fun. Long and cruisy and I was feeling great. The ride out of Whitefish for me was super hard. It was all on pavement and predominantly gentle downhill but into a reasonable head wind but every turn of the peddle was agony. At this stage I had lowered the seat again and by now was only able to continue pedaling by having the right leg unclipped and having only the very end of my toe resting on the pedal on the right hand side whilst allowing the left leg to do all the work. Again I was still hoping that things would come good but was not the case.

By this stage my ankle was also very sore and swollen as well. At the time I was thinking that this was fluid or somehow related to the knee that was injured. Now I am wondering if the ankle may not have been the original injury and the knee became sore as a result of compensating for the ankle? I don't really know just speculating. I did slip over several times in tough chunking mud on day one and may have hurt my ankle then. Over a week later, the ankle is still sore and swollen. The knee is sore to the touch but feels alright. I would be happy to cycle with the amount of pain there at the moment but would probably be hurting myself again.

I did not experience any neck or shoulder issues this time which is what really slowed me down in 2013. Maybe that would have all played out later down the course but at no stage did I need to carry a back pack this time which I did for every moment of 2013.

How it all played out. Back in 2013, it was too easy to get swept up in everything that was happening. I burnt a lot of emotional energy before the start worrying and thinking about things. I purposely did the opposite this time and think succeeded in that. I was really keen to catch up with people that I knew before the race and it was good to speak to Dave Rooney and Liam in particular.

The start is really frustrating with standing around forever up at the Y in Banff while nothing seems to happen. I was trying to hide around the corner and stay away from all the nonsense when everyone started milling around exactly where I was. Apparently they have changed the route up to the trail head and instead of being out of the way, I am in the middle of the guys who I know are going to be fast. I didn't want anyone to know what an imposter I felt like standing there so just kind of smiled and made chatted with my mate Dave and wished him well quite aware that I wasn't going to see any of these guys again as they smoked off ahead of me.

Only a kilometre or two into the ride and I was fiddling with my GPS to try and zoom in a fraction closer to the line that I was to follow to get me to Antelope Wells and I managed to press a couple of incorrect buttons and hide the line altogether. I had no idea what I had pressed or how to rectify things. Not a problem I thought, I'll just follow all these people around me for a while and fix things when I stop a little further down the trail. Big mistake. Once I did stop and work on things it took me maybe 30 seconds to identify the problem and correct permanently. In the interim however I took numerous wrong turns and cost myself much energy in feeling stupid etc.

It wasn't raining at the start but very soon afterwards it did get very wet and very cold. I definitely took too long to put on my wet weather gear and lost all feeling in my fingers whatsoever from the cold. Once I had the proper kit on, it was ll love light and peace but really silly of me to allow myself to get as cold and wet as I got. Spend a minute or two getting things right and save yourself a lot of pain later on.

The afternoon was really difficult cycling with steady rain and gear jamming mud. My chain would not stay on the front cog as the mud was too thick. I was having to stop regularly to clean things off in puddles, streams or ummmm, when no other alternative existed, the well aimed call of nature. Really frustrating to constantly be on and off the bike for this and I knew the Rohloff would not have had this issue.

Was I cycling okay at this stage? It is difficult to tell. I couldn't really find any momentum with everything that I had done wrong and had happen. It felt like I was just making mistake after mistake and it was really worrying me, completely pointlessly of course that I was blowing my opportunity. I think I ended up getting through to Sparwood and Elkford at roughly the same time as I did back in 2013 but I know it was a much tougher day of riding with the prevailing conditions. This time however I felt like I had ridden well within my capabilities for the entire day and had plenty of gas still in the tank. Maybe didn't feel like that in 2013 when I had ridden and well exceeded my own expectations. I don't know how much of that is purely psychological.

I probably made the incorrect call to call it quits in Sparwood. I was a bit worried about finding a spot under cover further down the track as it was still raining lightly but there was plenty of day light left and I could have easily done the ride out to Corbin where there were lots of places to quietly lay the head down and the would have been miles under the belt. Why did I stop? I knew I had done a good days ride and I didn't want to blow myself up too early. The knee was already hurting and I was a little concerned about bears out past Corbin. Silly to stop. I bivvied next to one of the buildings in the middle of Sparwood and slept okay once the fireworks stopped. I was plenty warm enough and although it is no where near as comfortable as a mattress, if you cycle far enough it is never a problem to sleep in a bivvy.

The other bonus to bivvying is the ability to get an early start. I was up and about early with a four o'clock alarm and once moving made reasonable time I think. My knee was really bad early on day two but silly enough to wait until the top of the initial climb out of Sparwood to do something about it. Now day two on the Tour Divide is hard. Really hard. If you stop in Sparwood, there are three monster big climbs on really crap roads as well as many creek crossings where you will get icy cold soaked and then there is the hike a bike sections pushing your fully loaded bike up a cliff for several hundred metres not to mention some silly technical single track. Day two just sucks. Things were hurting.

I did most of the riding on my own this time as I didn't really find anyone riding at my pace. I did however do some riding with a couple of really good people on days one and two. Mainly it was a lanky American called Corey. He was a monster on the bike. A big strong rider who was much faster than I was. Corey had some health issues and ideas on what he wanted to achieve out there that meant that he was happy to ride fast but take longer rests and stay in hotel rooms as much as possible to help him nurse his body through this event. I really enjoyed Corey's company, he was such a relaxed chap.

The other was a young kid called Luke. Luke is only 17 but is already a veteran having completed the course a couple of times already, once touring with his family and then last year in the race format. Luke really had things sorted. He knew what he was doing out there. All over the course knowledge and how he was progressing along the route. Distances, average speeds, refuel points, he had it covered and a seriously clever head for the race. I cycled away from Luke a couple of times on the big climbs and I thought that I had him covered in a very non competitive kind of way cyclists relate to each other but there was one time on the flat where another cyclist came along that Luke knew and they took off into distance very easily without me having any chance to keep up. I think Luke just knew when to go hard and when to ride within himself.

I had some issues coming through the border this time. Last time blew through pretty quickly and then wasted time waiting for a hot meal at the pub. I wasn't going to repeat that mistake this time but had problems with my visa waiver having expired. Just bizarre. I tried to renew my visa waiver a couple of months ago to make sure everything ran smooth but the system wouldn't let me as I already had a valid visa waiver. It just meant that I spent half an hour chatting with some dud ewhile he sorted everything online in Montana time rather than cycling towards Eureka.

Eureka was where I made the first big mistake of my ride. I was well aware that I was making pretty good time and my knee was really sore by this stage. Corey offered to share a hotel in Eureka if I wanted even though there was plenty of light and in 2013 Walter and I had pushed on and found the shelter at Birches Creek Recreational area another 23 very easy paved miles down the course. I really should have done that on the Saturday evening but was easily seduced by the idea of a hot shower and soft bed.

I did sleep really well and the chance to stay on top of saddle soreness was probably a good thing and I know I wouldn't have felt quite so good on day three if I had pumped out the extra on day two but it would have been very easy to knock those off in the evening and be feeling super good about what was happening next.

Also spent a bit of time on day two in Eureka chatting with Jackie Bernardi about some of the mechanical issues she was up against. Really good strong rider. Much faster than me but her chain ring was held together by zip ties at this stage and panicking a bit. Thankfully she made it through to Whitefish and setting a blazing pace down the rest of the map.

Day three. Again, I did get up early and out that hotel room door early. I wasn't feeling great on the bike knowing that I was doing miles that I should have done the night before but they did pass really quickly and when I passed where I should have camped I think everyone was still sitting around there so that made me feel better. Back in 2013 I really struggled with the climb up Red Meadow Lake and had been dreading it a bit. This time. Kind of really flew up there. The knew was coming good and I made excellent time. Finally finding some flow. At the top I thought I was finally getting myself together. The body was much better and even if I was only running at the same speed that I had in 2013 I knew my body was a lot stronger and I had a lot more in the tank than last time. The descent from there down to Whitefish was fantastic and felt ready to go.

Whitefish everything came undone. I do not know what is wrong with my leg but as soon as I started cycling again after lunch just crippling pain and it was a real effort to nurse myself along. Lowered the seat again and cycled along unclipped for as far as I could. I managed only another 30 or 40 miles after that mostly downhill and all on pavement certainly no challenge whatsoever but too sore to ride bikes. I am pretty good with pain and in may ways was wanting to reach that point in the race where everything hurts. I didn't get the chance. My knee was just too sore to continue. If I had have pushed on, I may have ridden another day or so but there is no way I would have been able to go much further and I would have been doing much more damage to myself. Canada was hard and difficult. I love Montana. Montana is such a relief after Canada but I had to call it quits. It was difficult and yet really easy to stop.

I wanted to be out there, I wanted to be just cycling. I wanted to find that spot where the rest of the world disappears and it is just me and my bicycle heading down that course. I didn't reach there this time. Still all kinds of stuff happening in my head. I missed out on the euphoric highs and some of the terrible lows as I pulled up stumps too early in the ride. Clearly this will not happen again. I will never get this opportunity again. I could not justify it. I spent way way too much money that I just do not have to go and ride my bike for a few days and fail so spectacularly. I will stick to riding my bike with mates and enjoying that. 2013 was amazing and probably a bit life defining. We don't get the opportunity as adults to reach the kind of places that I did in 2013 and I hope that this experience does not subtract too much from that.

Thank you everyone for reading and everyone who supported or encouraged me.

End of February Update

Am quite upbeat at the moment. The numbers are probably modest at best but I have indeed built a pretty reasonable base upon which to really build in the next couple of months and then fine tune over the final month.

The raw numbers say February saw me punch out pretty much exactly 1,400km. This on top of January's 1,360km. In reality it has been only a consistent month rather than anything super impressive. I really enjoyed the 400km weekend with the Audax guys and I do really need to incorporate much more of that style of cycling into my training. It is a case of making the time available.

The rest of the kilometres have been just doing the commute with very little weekend riding. I do really miss riding with Dave and Benny who aren't just good blokes who ride bikes but also very entertaining and give me hope that not all Tasmanians are narrow minded puissant bigots.

I can comfortably do the commute into work over pretty reasonable hills and be just as strong at the end of the week as I was at the start. Punching out 80km a day will build a very good base. I feel better when it is really consistent and able to happen days a week but well understand the need to help and be around for Michelle as well.

I am really feeling the need to do bigger rides from about now. Time to step into the lions den so to speak. One of the best parts of the Bronte Park and return ride was feeling so much better on day two than day one. I think you have to go and experience the pain  every now and again. Dip much deeper into the far reaches of your own endurance. I haven't done anywhere near enough of that yet. Have to let the body and brain know what they are in for. I do worry a fraction about how I do that if I am cycling on my own. I have a couple of ideas but nothing firm at this stage.

I did have a couple of dizzy spells last week which worried me a fraction. I have never had anything like that at all before. The first one was at work and I had been staring at the computer screen for too long maybe. Very sedentary. Quite a severe episode where I thought I was going to fall off the chair I was sitting on and queasy enough to worry I would throw up. It passed quickly but did worry me for a bit. The second episode was right at the end of Monday's ride and may have been a bit of over exertion or possibly under-hydrated? I did not have a great ride on Monday evening despite excellent conditions and a very happy day at work. Just wasn't a good day on the bike, happens sometimes. A bit like sometimes without reason you have a very good day. I will keep an eye on things.

My diet has been much better the last few weeks and certainly less alcohol. Am guessing that is a good thing. My weight is right down to 74kg. I don't want or need to lose too much more before the start of the race. It is good to be back to a much healthier weight range and need to consume much better nutrients than I probably have in the past.

Course research is going much better and think I have the top half of the course much better researched. It is one of those areas that you can spend a lot of time and it is probably all well spent in that the more you know, the more flexible you can be. It is all about options and cause and effect. I was hyper aware when I was out there last time how bad my course knowledge was, need to avoid the same mistakes next time. I probably should write things down much better this time as well rather than just attempting to commit things to memory although a lot of it is pretty ingrained now.

I do not have any longer rides or weekends blocked out in the calendar but really need to. I am trying to be a fraction opportunistic and fit in with weekends that Michelle has other things planned. Will work well this month and early April but will have to bite the bullet and force the issue a bit more after that.

Am I fast enough. I don't know if I am going to be able to get much faster. I have noticed that I can have a reasonable commute where I just sit at a comfortable speed and pedal easy until I get home or if I feel great and really push it I only arrive home maybe 10 minutes faster. When I am out on the course, I may well be better suited to never try and push it hard but make sure I just don't have that extra 10 minutes off the bike.

Unfortunately it looks like Robin isn't going to be a starter this year. I had been really looking forward to catching up again but doesn't look like he will be ready. Lots of Australians amongst the starting list. Looking forward to meeting them. The pure number of riders worries me a bit. I am not really interested in a big mass participation ride but after the first couple of days it doesn't feel like that anyway. From what I know of some of the other riders, it is going to be fast up at the front and there are going to be a lot of guys thinking that they are a chance to win this. I will just ride my race but I do want to go much faster than last time. I want to surprise myself.

One thing I have been obsessing a bit about lately was how much I slowed down last time. There were guys passing me who I had been much faster than earlier in the ride that I just couldn't keep with later on. I don't know whether that was a lack of strength on my part or poor nutrition before and during the race or maybe I became ill? I had always pushed it aside n the past and attempted to believe that once Walter got hit, I kind of switched to touring mode. I suspect that all falls into the kidding myself category. I did not have it in me to go faster in the second half of the race, it wasn't psychological, just purely physical. I am hoping to be stronger and healthier this time.

Next update - Tour Divide 2016 - Training and preparation

Three weeks into February and have clocked over the 1,000km for the month and s touch over 2,300 for the year. Still manage to feel guilty about the days I am not out there or when I am actually feeling alright on the bicycle. I have had a very slack week after last weekends tremendous Wuthering Heights and return ride.

I am not really certain how useful it is to look back at 2013 at the moment. I didn't manage 1,000km for the month of Feb in 2013 and it was the first week in March before I ticked over the 2,000km for the year, so I am comfortably ahead of that schedule. I didn't do enough riding then and the body was not strong enough. I am trying to be better this time but am still well behind the eight ball. In 2013 I only did one 200+km ride in the prior to the race, that was my memorable ride out to Yea. This time I have done 3 200+km rides already including a couple back to back. I think that the long days in the saddle are very beneficial, not just for the body but learning how to do this stuff.

The learning is a bit double edged. Clearly I was very underprepared last time and it just made it a guts ride from a very long way out (like from the US/Canada border). This time however I know exactly how much it is going to hurt. It does just hurt, there are all kinds of twee motivational quotes for cycling and I hope they work for some people but really the pain of being out there riding has got to be a million times better than the numbness of sitting on the couch all day. I know it is going to hurt, embrace it and ride far and fast as much as possible. Hands, wrists, arse and legs are okay, they are good pain. The neck and shoulders worry me more. Not having the strength to hold the chin off the chest last time did slow me down, I need to be a lot more committed to the strengthening exercises.

I am not really one to panic or make rash decisions but I do worry about things for longer and harder than I should. The more long rides you do in preparation, the more of the issues that happen are going to have already been addressed. You can't be worrying about things if you already know that you can handle things. No point. I suspect I would just find something else to worry about.

Speed, actual straight line bike speed. This is a tricky one. On the Divide last time I only reallyhad one speed. I could not have cycled any faster. Maybe I will be faster this time with the extra training. I see other cyclists much faster than me on the Audax rides who are well in front of me when I am riding to my absolute limit. I suspect that I was faster in the first week but because I wasn't fit enough dropped off much more than anyone else over the second half of the race. My terrible diet and all manner of other things may also have contributed but I need to do better this time.

I think it is okay to nominate Lael Wilcox as one of my TD heroes. She embraced the whole no stopped time philosophy and allegedly didn't even take her helmet off for the final week of the race. This will need to be my chosen strategy given my lack of straight line speed. It will be the best method for me to cover as many miles as possible every single day. Don't get sucked out of race mode. It will take discipline, a discipline I sadly lacked last time. A discipline I only kind of have in my training at the moment but make it count when you are out there. I know that I can start like that but will need to maintain focus and not allow myself to be discouraged when I have a bad day or make one of the mistakes that I will.

My commutes are going much better. I am feeling stronger and faster every time which is a very good sign. I can peel off the 80km per day with little effort and enjoy every turn of the pedals. I have lost a lot of weight, was down to 74kg on Friday but having had a fat weekend am probably back to 76kg. I just need to keep cycling far.

Michelle has been desperately supportive in a way that I had not expected. She knows that I am committed this time and is letting me go ride bikes. There are a couple of weekends coming up where I will have the opportunity to ride big but will need to amp up my own motivation. Get a couple of back to back 250km days in. When I have the time I need to make the most of the opportunity.

I hope I am doing the right things with my bicycle. I am just so out of my depth with anything technical. I can fix things that go wrong but I am having to ask a lot of questions on the bike where people probably look at me side ways for not knowing simple stuff. It just has never interested me.

Some good and some bad

Just a quick update as there has been nothing very exciting in the last week.

Did the commute 4 times this work week which has given me a pretty cool 320km and makes 520km in the last seven days. Not huge numbers but clearly the biggest week so far and have come out the other side feeling really very fit and strong. I have finished each day feeling good and like I can indeed keep cycling for many more kilometres. I am pretty happy to be making good progress.

The flip side is that it is going to be a very limited week coming up in terms of time on the bike. Long weekend at the moment and have commitments that will keep me off the bike. Which maybe a good thing anyway. I will get a commute in on Tuesday but that is it until the weekend when I will do the Audax 400. Being a bit positive, maybe it is good to change things a bit, allow the body to recover for a few days and get a good 400 in this weekend.

I know I have to do the training for my own head, my own body and my own level and health and fitness and to meet my goals but I see guys posting to facebook etc. about doing huge rides and the amount of kilometres they are clocking up. It does get me down a fraction, when I am not out there and they are. Mostly jealousy on my part perhaps but some of it certainly is questioning my own commitment. I had previously talked about my own ability to not be honest to myself, there may be some of that in there. If I am serious about this I need to get out there and do big big rides. I have deliberately held myself back in January as I did not want to ramp up too much too quickly but this has to be fair dinkum February now. I am certain I am on a much better trajectory than last time and will be well placed.

You have to do the right amount of training to meet ambitious goals. It is getting the head there as well. You need to believe that you are capable of doing these truly extraordinary things. I didn't believe last time and found it very easy to slow down when it really hurt. I think everyone hurts out there and this time I just want to be able to keep going.

Need to sit down again and do some better planning for the next two months as well. The January and February plans worked well and have allowed me to do a lot of riding because it was communicated well in advance to Michelle and she made alternate plans. Very important to keep her on board and I have been very lucky and a bit surprised even maybe about how much support I have received this time on such an indulgent exercise. I know she worries about things as many people do and I know that there is no quid pro quo on this one. I just don't believe in keeping score or counting points. This is purely about my need to escape and ride my bike for a couple of weeks.

Also looking at the people that are putting their hand up. There are going to be a lot of very fast guys out there this year. It is going to be a fast year this year with lots of very strong cyclists. It is going to be great to be a part of that even if it is all happening way out in front of me. I do want to go very fast. I think if I keep going with the training and I have no reason to believe that I won't then if I am clever and strong and cop some good breaks when I am out there then I can get down into the 18day range.

Last time I wanted to be fast and thought sub 21 was a fast time. The goal posts are moving rapidly with the training I am doing and how light weight I may be able to go with the bike and kit. Whilst still dithering over wheels, I am certain I will invest in some good carbon rims and a 1 x 11 conversion to lose the rolhoff. Big weight and efficiency gains. I took way too many clothes last time and will just be much smarter with all of that.

The weight training is not going to plan. I have not gotten to the gym at all and having suffered badly from weight loss related neck issues last time, I should be doing a lot more. Just remember the Idaho rail trail. I could not lift my chin off my chest from there onwards. With some luck I am a day or more ahead of the schedule I set last time and may be a bit fitter when I reach there. Get into Wyoming faster than last time and the body can recover a bit more.

Also dithering a little on the flights into Canada. I am pretty keen to fly to Vancouver and have a fast ride out to Banff. If I fly out of here on Thursday 2nd June, out to Vernon by probably mid Saturday and then a couple more days out to Banff. Really enjoyed the ride out to Banff from Vernon last time but that was because I had Gavin with me and I always enjoy cycling with Gavin. He is just the right amount of interaction and amazing knowledge for me when we go riding. Bit different riding on my own but think I would really enjoy it.

The other option I have is to fly out of Australia and into Calgary. That would make only a one day ride out to Banff and I could leave Australia probably 3 or 4 days later. Would I still be jet lagged? It costs more to fly to Calgary but I would save that money by being here in Australia for longer and Canada isn't cheap. I do need to sort flights very shortly.

Am liking the place I am in at the moment when I stop and properly rationalise. Just need to stop comparing myself to others and ride my race and do my training. Take it seriously and sort stuff out.

Audax update and January Summary

Had an excellent Audax ride yesterday on the Triton. It was a 200km ride with a couple of really serious climbs and at a reasonable pace early on. Whilst I was on the Triton, the other two guys were on much faster rando bikes.  The ride was out of Campbell Town in the middle of the state up into the Central Highlands past the Great Lakes. Very beautiful part of the world.

The amount of roadkill I am seeing at the moment is heartbreaking. Another two level devils yesterday, one of them a juvenile.

I wasn't feeling particularly good in the second half of yesterday's ride. Maybe just not eating enough of the right foods at the right time? Or maybe am still a little crook. I had also been stressing a bit about this ride in the lead up. Desperately wanting to go and do it but needing to balance riding with life. It was not a fun second half of the ride either, with a very strong head wind and persistent rain. I did go to some very dark places in the second half of the ride which made it a tough grind. It was good to be with the other guys who I suspect both suffered a fair bit more than I did. Really good guys too.

Not a crisis of confidence, maybe more a crisis of resolve. I definitely suffered from this in 2013 as well and back then it just passed. Some weeks were harder than others. A bit down now but in a weeks time I maybe flying. I am very much on track to be a lot stronger on the bike and with a bit of good fortune I will have a much smarter setup on the bike. It was more a case of when I was out there in the wind and rain not enjoying it, I was questioning why I would spend so much time effort and energy not to mention money to go out there and hurt so much. It brought back the wrong memories from 2013 and I know I could have been riding stronger, harder and faster yesterday.

Last time it was a guts ride from a very long way out. Too, tired, poor nutrition, etc. Just like every other rider out there, resolve was the only thing pushing me on, keeping me in the race. That will happen again next time, it just does. Do I want to embrace and love all that pain? It must surely be better than all the alternatives. Mind numbing monotony, boredom, slide into alcoholism and the willing choice of an early grave.

1,360km for the month? It is a very good amount given the poor base that I had but maybe disappointing given the strong start to the month. I am really aware that available sunlight and weather conditions deteriorate sharply from the end of Feb. I need to make February count and have a huge month. I hope it isn't too ambitious to aim for 2,000km for the month? If I get the opportunity to do the Bronte weekend will give me 400km, 4 lots of 4 commutes a week will give me 1,280, so I would only need to find another 320km in the other three weekends.

Am happy just to be accumulating kilometres at the moment. They are all good kilometres with a lot of climbing. I really need to sort the bike out very shortly as well. Am a fraction happier with the electronics and will run a cache battery in between the ewerk  and the GPS. The big investment is going to be wheels and need to get this right.

First 1,000km done.

Yeah, it feels pretty good to smash through 1,000km for the year. It is probably more than I had imagined was going to happen within the first 20 days of the year.

I did not have a great commute home last night. Although it was a reasonably fast ride and the body was feeling as good as it has for a while, I had too much stuff in my head. Bad things from the past and worries about the future. Somewhere in there I forgot to enjoy just being out there on the bicycle. I don't usually make that mistake, even if it can sometimes be a process to reach that cycling serenity.

I know that I should be ecstatic, that is a great number and I am making proper progress and doing it in the right way and allow me to assure you, I usually really enjoy the commute and rarely if ever get down like I did on the ride or for the entire day really.

The way forward? For the rest of January I suspect that I am happy to keep things at the pace that I am right now and will reach about 1,500km for the month. I know that I am feeling good enough and have the wherewithal to really ramp it up and could easily ramp it up and probably crack 2,000km for the month but I am wary about such an increase from nothing and then sustaining things for four more months maybe difficult. I probably could physically but mentally it would be challenging and I do actually really enjoy spending time with Michelle and my mad mutt.

I will be keen to get out for my longer ride on 30 January with Audax unless the bushfires down here put a line through that. My plan at this stage is to make February big after the solid January. Really listen to the body and aim big and make sure it happens. There is a really fun Bronte Lagoon Ride in the middle of Feb that will give me 400km and a St Mary's Loop 600km ride in very early March. So a big Feb and the 600, I will then have a quieter week to recover and then solidly ride from there with possibly some revision in training and more specifically tailored to the race in June.

I am getting a bit apprehensive about the race itself as well. I just had an awesome time last time and enjoyed things beyond possible imagination. I know it will be a totally different experience and I will want to go much faster with the training and knowledge that I will have. They will be different people out there this time and it is all such a big investment in time effort and money. I know there is big risk involved in most things that provide big reward but need to find the right headspace.

One of the best things from last time was the not having to think and worry about the things that got me down last night on the ride. The whole elegance in the simplicity thing. You just can't force it I guess.

Tour Divide 2016

First an update on the training. 17 days in, I have tapped out 840km on the bike so far. I am very happy with this but need to make sure I stay on top of things. In 2013, I managed to ride 1,000km a month for the five months in the lead up so I at the moment I am well ahead of that. I probably could be riding more but am a little concerned about ramping up too fast with not being on the bike at all in November and December. February will be the important one with fewer days but the big base that I will have set in January.

A fantastic long hard and reasonably fast ride up some big hills today with Benny. It was great to ride with Benny, it always is. I like to pretend that we are reasonably evenly matched but he is much stronger than me at the moment and I am sure I was slowing him down if anything. I think he really enjoyed the longer ride as well. It is great that we didn't really have a plan at all when we started but knew we had the time and motivation to go for something a bit serious. Lots of gravel and lots of climbing.

I like to think the kilometres I am doing this time are better than the kilometres done in preparation for 2013. There are very few easy rides down here, always lots of climbing. I am not really sure. I did a couple of long rides in 2013 where you earned every metre with no coasting at any stage where as down here once you climb the hill there is descending. I can definitely see where 8 hours in the saddle pushing hard on the flat has real benefit as well. So long as I am doing the kilometres, my legs will get much stronger and hopefully build a bit of belief.

I do need to take advantage of the daylight hours when I have them down here as well, it will not be long before the days are noticeably shorter which slows things down a fraction and makes it a little cooler and a whole load less pleasant. Weekend rides are good at the moment as a change from the normal commute. I am very lucky to have the commute I do with 80km per day but it is awesome to go and see some other places on the weekend.

Definitely in for the Audax 200 mixed terrain ride on 30 Jan. The remoteness had worried me and the amount of climbing is insane but sounds like perfect training for the Divide in June.

My diet is coming on in fits and spurts. I seem to do well for a few days and then slip up badly, which is what happened on Friday. Consumed more calories of poor nutrition than it should be possible to put in your mouth without getting ill. Then had probably too much to drink on Saturday night which again is a whole load of calories with no nutritional value. I have dropped a couple of kilograms but do need to lose many more. I think it will all come together and maybe it is good to do it over several months but I know I would be a much better cyclist if I was pushing 10 less kgs up those hills.

I have had reason over the last week or so to ponder some of the more selfish things that I think. I know I have written about it in the past with my contribution to The Cordillera. It does worry me and it is important that no matter what happens there are things much bigger in my life than riding my bicycle or this race. At the end of the day, I don't want to hurt anyone through any of this.

Why do this? Why do this again. Really it is unfinished business. Yes, I do love being out there. I enjoy being on my own out there and being able to forget about all of the mundane things in life for three weeks as I just cycle. I think I have accrued much knowledge best applied to being on the Divide route and I do surprise myself with how competitive a person I can periodically be on the bicycle. Things happened last time and I didn't start with the right expectations probably because I didn't know what the right expectations were. This time I can get fit and ride hard. There are so many reasons to be out there seeing, doing, thinking, feeling and experiencing. I cannot wait.

Where to from here? It is still early in my preparation and whilst I am kind of making it up as I go, I am happy where I am. Probably get around 1,600km for the month, which will be a good start. Ramp it up from there. If I take it in monthly instalments, I know that I will need to have an easier week at some stage, probably early March, to let the body recover and build from there but at the moment riding big. Should I get Jaime on board as a coach? I do need someone to be absolutely honest with me about things. I know that I can get things wrong in my own head, particularly when I am tired or maybe not as focussed as I should be. I will know more about the cycling and the race but someone to keep me honest and independently assess would be really helpful. Jaime has expressed an interest and I also think he would have a natural aptitude as he is a deep thinker about things.

11 days in,149 to go.

A bit scary that it is only 149 days until June 10, 2016. There is a lot of things to be done prior to then.

I am feeling really good about the cycling at the moment, having achieved a few of the things that have been worrying me. I have strung together a number of longer rides on consecutive days as well as having gotten out there for a reasonably fast 120km ride with the good Audax guys. COB Monday I was up above 530km for the year including 300km in the previous four days. There was riding on all four of those four days and even though some of the rides were a bit shorter, the climbing has been intense on all of those days.

I am feeling much stronger on the bike and happy that I am making some progress with that. Big ride planned for the final weekend in January, with either a mixed terrain 200km with a huge amount of climbing in remote parts of the state or a road 400km ride. Not certain which one yet but will do one or the other. I prefer to do the 200 as a much better training ride for the Tour Divide but not keen to head out there on my own without proper navigation and limited mobile coverage.

The commuting has been good and starting to realise just how good the hills I climb every single day are for gaining strength. Pretty happy with that. I am certainly learning to descend a bit better as well. It is all about cornering properly and getting the right line. I am never going to be a great descender.

Rest day today and legs feel good. I am hoping to feel good on the bike again tomorrow. It is going to be hot here tomorrow with strong winds and probably one of those days that I would normally avoided the commute on as winds coming over the saddle and down the highway can get a bit scary but keeping up the miles is pretty important at this stage.

I have done no route recon or research. That will niggle in the back of my mind until I do something. The bits I still need to sort for the bicycle are also going to nag away at me until I do something. I need a GPS unit. Very disappointed to have blown up two etrex Units. I am hoping it is as simple me having flicked an incorrect switch on the regulator unit so I can fix it easy. That would be a bummer as well as it means I have blown a stack of money on GPS units that I am ruining through my own stupidity. I need to check this out before investing again.

My Spot tracker is registered I should figure out how to use that functionality properly, then I would probably feel better about riding out into the hills on my own.

The more cycling I do, the more I am really attracted to investing every last penny I have in a good set of carbon rims with a 1x setup. Absolute light weight wheels. A guy riding on my Bruny ride on Sunday had that on a brand new 27.5 and really talked it up. I know the Rohloff is a big part of the weight and inefficiency on my bike. I can't take inefficiencies with me this time. The question is how I come up with the cash? I could even go really old school and use batteries for everything and ditch the SON generator up front.

Enjoying it, that is important. Need a lot more riding. Rest will happen when it is important.

Off to a good start

3 nice rides to start the year and feeling good about the cycling. The cyclical nature of motivation is a bit interesting. When I am not very fit and not doing the cycling, it kind of nags in the back of the mind but doesn't necessarily happen. Once you are on that upwards curve where you can recognise that you may be getting a bit stronger and there is progress it is much easier to get out there.

I really enjoy the commute at the moment and just the commute is going to be a big part of the plan. I think I need to take advantage of good weather when I get it as it gets much more difficult with light and precipitation as summer recedes. I need some much longer rides in there as well but that will happen.

The commute today was on the Warbird instead of the Triton as when I wandered out at 5 this morning, the Triton had a flat and I couldn't be bothered fiddling around at that time of day. I have been hesitant about the Warbird for a commute as I have some really long tricky descending and I always thought the Triton handled that better. I suspect that I have been wrong on that as I was nearly half an hour faster on the Warbird and I suspect most of that time was descending much faster. I have always been a terrible descender but I am hoping that with the amount of descending I am doing just on the commutes, I am improving. I suspect I am getting better technically but the other thing I am aware of is my techniques disintegrates completely when fatigued which can periodically be an issue on the Divide.

Fantastic ride on the weekend up Ben Lomond. Shamelessly stealing my mates photos as they are much better than mine. Big climbing and good training for what I am going to do,, just a pity that I am as unfit at the moment as I am. I did enjoy the ride. The photo on the right is pretty much how I felt for much of the ride but just three rides and a couple of hundred pretty good kilometres on the bike later, I am feeling like I could enjoy things much more. I think a bit of an infection has been holding me back. I am very swollen and tender in the glands on the right hand side of the neck.

I am pretty happy that the other guys in the photo look nearly as beaten as I do.

How good are Benny's photos from the ride. I picked these two not just because they are of me but they best show what we were doing. I was in total self preservation mode by this stage. Somewhere in between getting the job done and hanging on grimly. About the only strength I have as a cyclist is being able to keep going at that steady pace for a reasonable amount of time.

 

This one is Johnny's photo. He is the maddest descender I have ever seen. Mountain biker and good guy.

I may have to be a bit careful about ramping up the kilometres too quickly. Maybe I will be okay with it with the base that I have over the last 5 or so years but there has just been no cycling at all for two months.

I should take some photos and write a bit of a summary of the commute for next time.



 

Welcome to 2016

Clearly it is time that I posted something again. Not exactly new years resolutions but certainly some very big plans.

I am committed to getting back to the US in June for another attempt at riding the Divide. Keen to capture some of my progress on the way, how I get there all that kind of thing.

I a lucky enough to have some buy in from Michelle on this one which has worried me a lot for quite some time and although I know she is not going to enjoy it and probably isn't ever going to understand why I go and do these crazy things at least she is across where I am at and will support me as much as I expect she ever will on my cycling adventures.

It is going to be a bit of a journey just getting to the starting line this time. In 2013 I had significantly more money at my disposal, primarily thanks to some sponsorship and a job that paid well. Whilst I don't ever need to worry about money, it is definitely a lot tighter now than three years ago and this will drive much of my approach. I know a lot more about things and if I had the money would go with a much lighter weight set up but that probably just isn't going to happen.

My current health and fitness is going to be another part of the journey. I have been reasonably fit and doing a fair bit of cycling until the start of November but for several reasons have barely been on the bike for the last two months. That changes right now. Current plan is to commute on the bicycle at least three days a week and do as much riding as life will allow on the weekends. Audax seems like the best option there but I have several other plans in train. My worries about the commute are that I will be doing 80km per day on the bike, 40 km of that climbing on quite steep hills and the other 40 descending. I don't want to be training myself to just be able to ride that distance, I need some much longer distances in my schedule. I will not get stale on the commute, I only need to be in the car one morning to realise how lucky I am to be able to ride to work in the peace and calm of the morning on the quiet roads down here rather than on that busy highway in a car.

I didn't do the kilometres in training last time, averaging only 1,000km a month in the six months leading up. I would like to double that to have a much bigger base. I have a bit of a plan for this but maybe in a different post.

I know a lot of guys have coaches for this kind of thing. It would probably help me, mainly because I tend to not be as honest with myself as I can be. I would hope a good coach would know when things are going well and perhaps give me some of the frank and fearless advice when I haven't done the right thing. Clearly I won't have a coach and will be coming up with all of the plans myself and motivating myself to get out there a often as possible. I think being out there on as many days as is possible is just as important as doing to big rides when you are building a base.

First ride was yesterday a tip over 70km on the Triton. Didn't feel very fit and healthy but it was good to be out there. Felt very fat and slow, am on the wrong side of 80kg at the moment and it will be interesting to see how quickly that changes with the amount of riding planned. I ran into Mobbsy out there yesterday and he was looking very fit and tanned. As he always tells us, he is in his 70s and is still fit fast and strong on the bicycle. He spends all his time cycling but his wife hates him so I don't think that is a good outcome. Felt much worse at the end of the ride than I should have, I could have cycled all day and maybe I would have started feeling good again but I was ready for carbs. Cycled into Huonville, out through Ranelagh and Judbury to the top of Denison Ridge to give me some climbing. Then it was back down and out along Lonavale Road. I really like that Lonavale road normally but it is terrible this time of year with every dog and his man chasing the same peace and serenity out in the bush that I am. Unfortunately they are looking for it from the cab of their Land Cruiser at 90km/h on my quiet dirt roads. Some really bad road kill out there at the moment and I think I will just avoid that road until February.

I need to be a lot more disciplined in many aspects of my life. Save lots of money, eat far better, ride more, don't waste time with silly television, study what I need to study. Do much more for and with those that I love dearly. Make sure I have plans to make things happen.

I will try and blog far more often with progress on training, course knowledge etc.