Yes, I failed. Difficult to deal with and not very happy with how things panned out.
What can I write about? Training. I think my training was nearly spot on this year. I averaged about 1,500km a month for each month leading up to leaving the country for Banff. I had a quiet patch at the end of April as a result of a bit of illness but it was probably at the right time to stay fresh and excited about cycling. This time it was the right variety of training as well with lots of long climbs on Tour Divide style hills on fully loaded touring rig. I know that on the start line I was physically much better than last time and a much stronger rider.
There certainly were gaps in my training. I did a few long multi-day rides but not as many as I would have liked. Possibly only one or two more. Just one or two weekends devoted to riding. I had the opportunity I know but chose to do other things at the time. Probably things I had to do to keep some balance in my life but I know my body and mind would have been stronger on that start line if I had have had a couple more 4-500km off road weekends.
The bike. The bike was perfect. I had been really worried for months leading up that I was spending a lot of money and trust me, I spent a LOT of money on the bike this time for questionable return. Although I really was only able to cycle for a couple of days and limp along for the third, I am certain that the changes I made were the right decision. Go for a high end carbon wheel set with as ultra-light a set up as possible. Other than just saving a lot weight, it turned me into a more than adequate descender. I had been terrible in 2013, embarrassingly bad. This time I was able to either stay with or descend faster than those around me and the wheels were the only thing I can really think of that has made that difference. That and I have done a lot more descending now and maybe am a bit more confident in doing that.
Also, I didn't go with aero bars this time. Very few people didn't have either aero bars or the very popular Jones Loop Bars. My bars are just old fashioned flat bars with a really good sweep. I have ergon grips which I wrapped additional cork bar tape around for extra padding and to spread the contact point out even further. Certainly worked well for the part of the course I managed to negotiate and I suspect would have been sustainable down the balance of the course. I still felt much better physically than I did after three days in 2013. Lack of aero bars may have been slowed me down further down the course but I will never know.
Electronics will always be a downer for me unless I join the 21st century and start using them for all of my rides. Just more hassle than I need usually when I just want to be out cycling and enjoying the simplicity of my mates, I mean the simplicity of the bicycle. I had a cache battery in between the eWerk regulator and the GPS. This was a real winner this time keeping things going and definitely a good solution that meant I wasn't worried about blowing up another etrex. The USB ports/cables this time weren't good enough. I know there is a solution and I just need to find the time and energy to sort that and it was silly of me not to prior to going out on this ride. I stored the cache battery in my gas tank which meant I was getting crumbs and sand and all manner of stuff into the USB port. Bound to go wrong really.
1x11 was the right idea, weight savings were worth the effort and money. Definitely on day one I was stopped multiple times by gear jamming mud that would not have been an issue with the Rolhoff and seeing the other riders, this would have been an issue further down the course as well but I am still a believer in the efficiency of the rear derailleur I had.
My body, well it broke. It is hard to say when or why but by lunch time on day three I could progress no further really. I identified pain just underneath the knee cap late on day one. Not something I have ever really had issues with. When I do too much walking my knees ache but there is one simple stretch I do to fix that. Cycling on the other hand seems to help any ache or pain with the more riding that I do. My bad hips are awesome if I do a heap of cycling and it is only when I stop that they start bothering me.
I probably made the mistake on day one of thinking it was normal knee pain and if I kept riding things would all be sweet as everything came together. When things were still sore in the knee on day day two I tried lowering my seat but probably didn't lower it enough quickly enough. I did think it was coming good on the morning of day three and cycled strongly from Eureka through to the top of the pass at Red Meadow Lake. The descent from the top there to Whitefish is a whole load of fun. Long and cruisy and I was feeling great. The ride out of Whitefish for me was super hard. It was all on pavement and predominantly gentle downhill but into a reasonable head wind but every turn of the peddle was agony. At this stage I had lowered the seat again and by now was only able to continue pedaling by having the right leg unclipped and having only the very end of my toe resting on the pedal on the right hand side whilst allowing the left leg to do all the work. Again I was still hoping that things would come good but was not the case.
By this stage my ankle was also very sore and swollen as well. At the time I was thinking that this was fluid or somehow related to the knee that was injured. Now I am wondering if the ankle may not have been the original injury and the knee became sore as a result of compensating for the ankle? I don't really know just speculating. I did slip over several times in tough chunking mud on day one and may have hurt my ankle then. Over a week later, the ankle is still sore and swollen. The knee is sore to the touch but feels alright. I would be happy to cycle with the amount of pain there at the moment but would probably be hurting myself again.
I did not experience any neck or shoulder issues this time which is what really slowed me down in 2013. Maybe that would have all played out later down the course but at no stage did I need to carry a back pack this time which I did for every moment of 2013.
How it all played out. Back in 2013, it was too easy to get swept up in everything that was happening. I burnt a lot of emotional energy before the start worrying and thinking about things. I purposely did the opposite this time and think succeeded in that. I was really keen to catch up with people that I knew before the race and it was good to speak to Dave Rooney and Liam in particular.
The start is really frustrating with standing around forever up at the Y in Banff while nothing seems to happen. I was trying to hide around the corner and stay away from all the nonsense when everyone started milling around exactly where I was. Apparently they have changed the route up to the trail head and instead of being out of the way, I am in the middle of the guys who I know are going to be fast. I didn't want anyone to know what an imposter I felt like standing there so just kind of smiled and made chatted with my mate Dave and wished him well quite aware that I wasn't going to see any of these guys again as they smoked off ahead of me.
Only a kilometre or two into the ride and I was fiddling with my GPS to try and zoom in a fraction closer to the line that I was to follow to get me to Antelope Wells and I managed to press a couple of incorrect buttons and hide the line altogether. I had no idea what I had pressed or how to rectify things. Not a problem I thought, I'll just follow all these people around me for a while and fix things when I stop a little further down the trail. Big mistake. Once I did stop and work on things it took me maybe 30 seconds to identify the problem and correct permanently. In the interim however I took numerous wrong turns and cost myself much energy in feeling stupid etc.
It wasn't raining at the start but very soon afterwards it did get very wet and very cold. I definitely took too long to put on my wet weather gear and lost all feeling in my fingers whatsoever from the cold. Once I had the proper kit on, it was ll love light and peace but really silly of me to allow myself to get as cold and wet as I got. Spend a minute or two getting things right and save yourself a lot of pain later on.
The afternoon was really difficult cycling with steady rain and gear jamming mud. My chain would not stay on the front cog as the mud was too thick. I was having to stop regularly to clean things off in puddles, streams or ummmm, when no other alternative existed, the well aimed call of nature. Really frustrating to constantly be on and off the bike for this and I knew the Rohloff would not have had this issue.
Was I cycling okay at this stage? It is difficult to tell. I couldn't really find any momentum with everything that I had done wrong and had happen. It felt like I was just making mistake after mistake and it was really worrying me, completely pointlessly of course that I was blowing my opportunity. I think I ended up getting through to Sparwood and Elkford at roughly the same time as I did back in 2013 but I know it was a much tougher day of riding with the prevailing conditions. This time however I felt like I had ridden well within my capabilities for the entire day and had plenty of gas still in the tank. Maybe didn't feel like that in 2013 when I had ridden and well exceeded my own expectations. I don't know how much of that is purely psychological.
I probably made the incorrect call to call it quits in Sparwood. I was a bit worried about finding a spot under cover further down the track as it was still raining lightly but there was plenty of day light left and I could have easily done the ride out to Corbin where there were lots of places to quietly lay the head down and the would have been miles under the belt. Why did I stop? I knew I had done a good days ride and I didn't want to blow myself up too early. The knee was already hurting and I was a little concerned about bears out past Corbin. Silly to stop. I bivvied next to one of the buildings in the middle of Sparwood and slept okay once the fireworks stopped. I was plenty warm enough and although it is no where near as comfortable as a mattress, if you cycle far enough it is never a problem to sleep in a bivvy.
The other bonus to bivvying is the ability to get an early start. I was up and about early with a four o'clock alarm and once moving made reasonable time I think. My knee was really bad early on day two but silly enough to wait until the top of the initial climb out of Sparwood to do something about it. Now day two on the Tour Divide is hard. Really hard. If you stop in Sparwood, there are three monster big climbs on really crap roads as well as many creek crossings where you will get icy cold soaked and then there is the hike a bike sections pushing your fully loaded bike up a cliff for several hundred metres not to mention some silly technical single track. Day two just sucks. Things were hurting.
I did most of the riding on my own this time as I didn't really find anyone riding at my pace. I did however do some riding with a couple of really good people on days one and two. Mainly it was a lanky American called Corey. He was a monster on the bike. A big strong rider who was much faster than I was. Corey had some health issues and ideas on what he wanted to achieve out there that meant that he was happy to ride fast but take longer rests and stay in hotel rooms as much as possible to help him nurse his body through this event. I really enjoyed Corey's company, he was such a relaxed chap.
The other was a young kid called Luke. Luke is only 17 but is already a veteran having completed the course a couple of times already, once touring with his family and then last year in the race format. Luke really had things sorted. He knew what he was doing out there. All over the course knowledge and how he was progressing along the route. Distances, average speeds, refuel points, he had it covered and a seriously clever head for the race. I cycled away from Luke a couple of times on the big climbs and I thought that I had him covered in a very non competitive kind of way cyclists relate to each other but there was one time on the flat where another cyclist came along that Luke knew and they took off into distance very easily without me having any chance to keep up. I think Luke just knew when to go hard and when to ride within himself.
I had some issues coming through the border this time. Last time blew through pretty quickly and then wasted time waiting for a hot meal at the pub. I wasn't going to repeat that mistake this time but had problems with my visa waiver having expired. Just bizarre. I tried to renew my visa waiver a couple of months ago to make sure everything ran smooth but the system wouldn't let me as I already had a valid visa waiver. It just meant that I spent half an hour chatting with some dud ewhile he sorted everything online in Montana time rather than cycling towards Eureka.
Eureka was where I made the first big mistake of my ride. I was well aware that I was making pretty good time and my knee was really sore by this stage. Corey offered to share a hotel in Eureka if I wanted even though there was plenty of light and in 2013 Walter and I had pushed on and found the shelter at Birches Creek Recreational area another 23 very easy paved miles down the course. I really should have done that on the Saturday evening but was easily seduced by the idea of a hot shower and soft bed.
I did sleep really well and the chance to stay on top of saddle soreness was probably a good thing and I know I wouldn't have felt quite so good on day three if I had pumped out the extra on day two but it would have been very easy to knock those off in the evening and be feeling super good about what was happening next.
Also spent a bit of time on day two in Eureka chatting with Jackie Bernardi about some of the mechanical issues she was up against. Really good strong rider. Much faster than me but her chain ring was held together by zip ties at this stage and panicking a bit. Thankfully she made it through to Whitefish and setting a blazing pace down the rest of the map.
Day three. Again, I did get up early and out that hotel room door early. I wasn't feeling great on the bike knowing that I was doing miles that I should have done the night before but they did pass really quickly and when I passed where I should have camped I think everyone was still sitting around there so that made me feel better. Back in 2013 I really struggled with the climb up Red Meadow Lake and had been dreading it a bit. This time. Kind of really flew up there. The knew was coming good and I made excellent time. Finally finding some flow. At the top I thought I was finally getting myself together. The body was much better and even if I was only running at the same speed that I had in 2013 I knew my body was a lot stronger and I had a lot more in the tank than last time. The descent from there down to Whitefish was fantastic and felt ready to go.
Whitefish everything came undone. I do not know what is wrong with my leg but as soon as I started cycling again after lunch just crippling pain and it was a real effort to nurse myself along. Lowered the seat again and cycled along unclipped for as far as I could. I managed only another 30 or 40 miles after that mostly downhill and all on pavement certainly no challenge whatsoever but too sore to ride bikes. I am pretty good with pain and in may ways was wanting to reach that point in the race where everything hurts. I didn't get the chance. My knee was just too sore to continue. If I had have pushed on, I may have ridden another day or so but there is no way I would have been able to go much further and I would have been doing much more damage to myself. Canada was hard and difficult. I love Montana. Montana is such a relief after Canada but I had to call it quits. It was difficult and yet really easy to stop.
I wanted to be out there, I wanted to be just cycling. I wanted to find that spot where the rest of the world disappears and it is just me and my bicycle heading down that course. I didn't reach there this time. Still all kinds of stuff happening in my head. I missed out on the euphoric highs and some of the terrible lows as I pulled up stumps too early in the ride. Clearly this will not happen again. I will never get this opportunity again. I could not justify it. I spent way way too much money that I just do not have to go and ride my bike for a few days and fail so spectacularly. I will stick to riding my bike with mates and enjoying that. 2013 was amazing and probably a bit life defining. We don't get the opportunity as adults to reach the kind of places that I did in 2013 and I hope that this experience does not subtract too much from that.
Thank you everyone for reading and everyone who supported or encouraged me.
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